From Red Deer to the NCAA, and all the way to professional ice in Sweden and Russia, Abby Thiessen’s hockey journey was nothing short of elite. But behind every crisp breakout pass and every disciplined shift was an internal battle that most never saw - the silent pressure to be perfect, the fear of making mistakes, and a young athlete trying to navigate it all without the mental support she truly needed.

Today, as an Assistant Coach with the Calgary Fire U18 AAA Red, Abby brings not only her on-ice experience but a powerful reflection on what mental readiness really means in sport - and what still needs to change.

Practice Felt Safer Than Games

For Abby, the concept of “mental readiness” was once narrowly defined: be dialed in, eliminate distractions, and perform. But even as a promising 11-year-old, she remembers something deeper taking hold.

“I used to say I liked practice more than games, but really I was just scared to make a mistake in a game.”

That early fear of failure stuck. As she advanced to university and international camps, the pressure only intensified. With few mental wellness tools available and limited support systems in place, the emotional weight often felt too heavy to carry.

“There were points in my career where I was so stressed before high-performance camps that I didn’t even want to attend. And when coaches did check in when my game was struggling, it often led to tears - not because I was weak, but because I had internalized every bad play and was so focused on being perfect that I didn't have an outlet for. ”

"Dare to Play" - A Turning Point

One coach, however, unknowingly sparked a shift. During Abby's freshman year, a Swedish coach would repeatedly encourage her with a simple, but powerful phrase: "Dare to play, Abby! Dare to play!"

That message stayed with her - and became a catalyst for change. "His accent might have contributed to the flair of the message," she laughs, "but it challenged me to step outside my fear and lean into discomfort."

That phrase led Abby to pick up Brené Brown's book Daring Greatly, simply because the title resonated so deeply. Through it, she discovered Teddy Roosevelt's, 'Man in the Arena' quote, which reframed her understanding of vulnerability, courage, and performance. 

"It helped me understand what it really meant to play free. That I could fail, and still grow. That being brave enough to try was more important that being perfect."

That mindset shift shaped the back half of her playing career - and now influences how she coaches and leads others. 

Rethinking the Role of Coaches

Abby now stands on the other side - a coach, a mentor, and someone who has lived the quiet struggles so many athletes still face. While mental wellness is gaining ground in sport, she believes there’s still a long way to go.

“It’s being taken more seriously, yes. But many coaches still feel under-equipped. Even as someone who went through it, I still sometimes don’t know the ‘right’ way to approach an athlete who’s struggling with the mental side of the game or their performance. What I do know is I never want them to feel the way I did and that they have the support for these conversations.”

She sees value in small, consistent check-ins - in having systems that normalize the conversation rather than make it feel like something is wrong. That’s where she believes platforms like HONE could have made a difference.

“If HONE had existed when I played, I think it would have made conversations easier - not every coach knows how to check in, and not every athlete knows how to open up. Even being able to complete a quick survey could be the nudge a coach needs to approach with care, not assumptions.”

Playing Free, Failing Forward

As Abby matured through her career, something shifted. She let go of perfection. She began embracing failure as a part of the process - not something to avoid, but something to learn from.

“I started to become more okay with failing. It didn’t define me anymore - it just meant I was growing. That mindset let me play free.”

And that’s the advice she now offers athletes:

“Have perspective. Zoom out. You’re not defined by one tryout, one performance, or one mistake. You’ll rarely perform your best when you’re afraid to make an error.”

A Message to Coaches: Lead With Care

To coaches, Abby offers a clear reminder, one she still needs as well:

“Approach with a growth mindset. You don’t need to know all the answers. But you do need to keep mental wellness in the back of your mind, always. Check in more often than you think you need to - not just when an athlete is off their game.”

Abby’s story is a powerful call to redefine how we see mental readiness. It’s not about being unshakable. It’s about building cultures where athletes are safe to be human - and still thrive.

HONE Athletics exists for exactly this reason: to equip coaches and organizations with expert-led tools that strengthen mental wellness, foster team connection, and build cultures of readiness that allow athletes like Abby - and the next generation - to play free.

Let’s build stronger, more resilient athletes. Together.